Episode 8 - The Struggles of the 3x9 Pairing

This week I share my experience of 30 years of intimate partnership with three different 9’s and invite you into the dynamic with my SO dominant 9w1, 964 trifix.

3:00 – Listen to Kara talk about what she loves about nines

7:00 – Kara shares her experience of growing up with two body centered parents

11:00 – How do we help 9’s get in touch with their anger?

12:30 – How do nines avoid the experience of discomfort?

14:00 – Meet Kara & Drew

17:30 – How did Drew find his way to Type 9?

19:00 – Why do nines mistype as fours?

21:30 – How do nines punish through withdrawl and how do you know when your nine is pissed?

27:00 – How do nines manage their exposure to unpleasant experiences?

33:20 – How did Kara discover she was a Three and not an Eight?

38:00 – Why do attachment types mistype?

40:00 – Drew talks about why he doesn’t think “having an instinctual stack” is descriptive or helpful

43:00 – Kara descries why she think we DO have an instinctual stack that we’re born with and isn’t going to change even though all instincts express at different times

51:00 – Kara and Drew describe the different wiring in the 3 vs 9 nervous system

54:00 – Drew describes his experience of his SP instinct

1:01:20 – Kara describes how her ENFP shows up so differently from Drew’s INFJ cognitive processes

1:04:00 – Kara describes the difference between Drew’s SO dominance and Kara’s SO middle

1:08:00 – Kara and Drew describe their experience of the SX instinct

1:15:00 – We discuss that SO dominant may not enjoy groups

1:18:30 – Kara and Drew express their experience of sexuality

1:23:00 – What does attachment to disconnect look like when two attachment types are together?

1:24:15 – Why nines hate having their location pinned down and how do attachment types help each other find their locations?

1:26:30 – The many different no’s nines will give you.

1:28:30 – Why Nines can’t give an emphatic yes.

1:35:00 – Kara gives final thoughts on what SX blind looks like and how’s she coming to identify it